Any ideas on how to cope with a 17 year old live in nephew?

You and your husband should be more concerned with making sure this new life is taken care of properly. The nephew is at an age where he should be taking responsibility for his actions. Yes, he does need to have a "mother figure" to help guide him. But you're role as a "mother" to your own child tops that. He's old enough to know better and to be more respectful. Be supportive when you can and maintain your distance when it hits the fan. I'd suggest making that move after the baby is a few months old unless things have straightened out or the nephew has flown the coop by then. As far as your father goes, it's pretty much the same advice. Take care of yourself and the baby first. If he needs more help than what you can offer then you should do him a solid and find someone who can help you do the job.